Being abandoned

Part 5 of my story

This next part of my story is the toughest for me as I am still struggling with it. It was also the darkest part of what happened last winter. As you know from my prior posts, I came home to great loss. I had lost my father-in-law, who I loved dearly. I quit a job from which I received so much fulfillment and a position that I had worked 23 years to reach. I was selling my home-the only home my children knew. I was abandoned by people who I truly loved and cared for. I still have not gotten over that last part. When I juxtapose the death of my father-in-law with the death of those relationships, the difference between the two is the lack of closure with the latter. I was able to eulogize Terry and offer him a “goodbye”, something that I was not granted with the “others.” I know I will never get closure for those relationships and will have to accept that fact, but it’s really hard, even 13 months later…but who’s counting? I know this though. I would never do the same to them. I am so grateful that I was given the gift of compassion because, over the months that were to follow, it was self compassion that got me through. The kindness of others was critical, as I have mentioned previously but, when the bottom falls out of your life, the only person that can truly help you is yourself.

-The Strong Stumbler

Thanks to Lessonslearnedinlife.com for the visual.