No Mud. No Lotus.
“It’s like growing lotus flowers. You cannot grow lotus flowers on marble. You have to grow them on the mud. Without mud you cannot have lotus flowers. Without suffering, you have no way to learn how to be understanding and compassionate.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
How many times have you heard a cancer survivor say that the experience made them realize how beautiful life is and that they have “a new lease on life?” Or someone getting released from jail and appreciating freedom? Adversity fosters gratitude and gratitude leads to growth. This idea that we can become stronger from a traumatic experience is a core belief of mine. So, when I came upon a movie called “Alison” while browsing Amazon Prime one afternoon, the synopsis grabbed my attention immediately: It is about a woman who was “raped. Disemboweled. Nearly decapitated. Dumped on the outskirts of a nature reserve, dead – or so they thought. She needed a hero that night, so that’s what she became. This is Alison’s tale. A tale of monsters, miracles and hope. ” The 60 minutes it took to watch the movie felt like several hours as it was extremely difficult to hear what this woman went through, both during the event and after. How could anyone persevere after something like this and, not just survive the incident, but actually become stronger from it, as she represents? She describes emerging from this horrific event with a “new purpose.” She turned from someone who was scared of doing her orals in grade school to becoming a motivational speaker. A girl without a dream to now having one. That’s when I first heard of the concept of Post Traumatic Growth. This is not a “new age” or off-the-wall idea. It has actually been studied a great deal throughout the psychology community.
So, what exactly is Post Traumatic Growth, or PTG? It’s when someone survives a traumatic experience with a newfound sense of inner strength, a better appreciation for life, and a new focus on helping others. It was first coined in the 90s by psychologists Richard Tedeschi, PhD, and Lawrence Calhoun, PhD. and asserts that people who endure psychological injury following adversity can experience positive growth as a result. According to Tedeschi, “People develop new understandings of themselves, the world they live in, how to relate to other people, the kind of future they might have and a better understanding of how to live life.” It should not be confused with “resilience” as resilience means you bounce back to baseline after an event. With Post Traumatic Growth, you emerge better and stronger than you were prior to the experience. So, instead of bouncing back, you bounce forward. As George S. Patton so famously stated, “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” Just as a lotus grows from the mud, so can we, when we experience PTG.
On my first trip to visit my new client last year, I made my way to the gift shop at the Seattle airport. This was a new start for me so, when I saw a necklace on display at the gift shop with a card holding it titled “New Beginnings”, I was instantly drawn to it. It was a gold necklace with a lotus flower pendant and the card stated, “There are many facets in life and each time you think you’ve figured one out, new ones unfold. Like the lotus rising from muddy beginnings into a beautiful blossom, wear your necklace as a reminder of the strength you have to start anew.” I wear it everyday and never take it off. When I had to pick a dog tag style for my rescue dog, Riley, it was an easy choice when I saw the pink lotus design. Riley and I now wear our lotus necklaces with pride as symbols of our rising from our muddy beginnings.
-The Strong Stumbler
You can read more about Post Traumatic Growth here. To learn more about Alison Botha and her journey you can go to the site about the movie here.
